Ju_CHaN's Xanga

Tuesday, October 30, 2007

Tue, 30 Oct 2007 05:55:30 GMT

i need to update this more..so i can let out some steam. lol my blogs are so hateful. i've also been thinking of maybe making a blogspot? to put my artwork up on...ugh my artwork sucks now tho. ughhhhhhh.... lol

i'm gonna go shoot myself with my imaginary gun now. cuz life just sucks. there's nothing good at all. with the exception of hannah. omg iono what i would do without her.

Monday, June 25, 2007

Mon, 25 Jun 2007 06:09:11 GMT

either nothing is ever good enough for me anymore

or

i'm just tired of the same old thing.

why do i have a feeling that the more people get to know me, the worse of a person i become...

Monday, May 21, 2007

Mon, 21 May 2007 19:34:05 GMT

i found more pictures of whiskey

i put them with the rest that my mom found

it's strange..

i now know what my mom meant

when she told me it feels like whiskey

is still walking around the house.

i can still hear his collar jingle

when everything is quiet.

Monday, May 21, 2007

Mon, 21 May 2007 05:24:22 GMT

blahhh

i hate being stuck at home

especially now that i am completely alone at night

and all i can hear is barking...

Sunday, May 20, 2007

Sun, 20 May 2007 20:13:16 GMT

i'm home! i'm home!

back to hot weather...yay? lol

i got to see david yesterday. i was so happy. i abused him so much. ^^

it sucks not having a car tho. i'm hella bored. hella hella hellaaa~

Tuesday, May 01, 2007

Tue, 01 May 2007 07:49:57 GMT

i wish i could get nice surprises

instead of disappointments.

Wednesday, April 25, 2007

Wed, 25 Apr 2007 07:42:51 GMT

i'll clutch that puppy stuffed animal you gave me
i'll only have thoughts of you
and apologize for all the negetive thoughts i've had
of ever doubting you

i'm weak
i need you to help me
to be my strength
but i need you here with me

i ask you to please keep patient
with my snappy attitudes
although i can hardly do the same

i'm sorry that you have to see this side of me
i never wanted to be this way.

Tuesday, April 24, 2007

Tue, 24 Apr 2007 22:36:47 GMT

If you haven't changed your mind
I want you to stay with me tonight
I'm tired of pretending to be strong
I was too young
Every time I think about you baby
Now I can say it, I miss you
It's so hard to say I'm sorry

I want to keep singing this song
For you, not for anyone else
It's an endless story, always shining
Always, I want to tell you, forever

Memories of our time together
Don't erase them, don't go away
Just let them melt warmly, I want to make sure
These drops of tenderness spread out in my heart
I'm missin' you so much it hurts
Our hands overlap, don't let go

If just one wish could be granted
I want to keep singing this song once more
It's an endless story, filled with unceasing love
Tell me why, tell me, forever

I want to keep singing this song
For you, not for anyone else
It's an endless story, always shining
Always, I want to tell you, forever

english translation to yuna ito's "endless story"
it's actually yet another remake of this song "if i didn't love you" but i like her version the most. i'm gonna put it on my myspace. haha

Saturday, April 21, 2007

Sat, 21 Apr 2007 09:53:14 GMT

meehhhh i'm up...cuz of my film. i'm about to go to bed soon tho.

but omg omg

why do i torment myself with stuff i want... it makes me happy when i look at them, and admire them..but then i end up WANTING them. whyyy??

i bring this up because i already bought 2 dresses off ebay. they're so cute tho! omg..i hope that black one comes in before the producer's show. *_* and and...i was looking at the tokidoki bags... omgg!! I WANT A L'AMORE BAGG! i'm gonna save up. dangg..i gotta work my little booty off this summer to go shop for cool stuff.

anywhooo~ off to read some harry potter and snooze off.

Monday, April 16, 2007

Mon, 16 Apr 2007 05:18:22 GMT

This day seemed to have gone by so slowly for me...

This morning I woke up relatively early, since I went to be last night at around 11. I rode my bike to Noah's Bagels or whatever the place is called. When I got back to my dorm, I sat down at my desk to eat, and I got a phone call from my mom. She was crying, and said she had bad news. I started to worry, and asked her what it was...the first thing that popped into my mind was that she got something from the doctor about her heart problems... but no.

My dog, Whiskey, died last night.

This came at such a shock to me. He wasn't that old, he would have been 9 this fall. He was such a healthy dog, we don't know what happened. My mom just said that she woke up to him moaning, and she called him to her, but he didn't move so she went up to him, to see what was wrong, and he wasn't responding to her. So she called the animal hospital...she said she saw his last breath when they took him away...

So far, the only cause of death I've come up with was that he aspirated, since my mom said she saw that he threw up in his bed, or that maybe his dog food, since there's been all this pet food being recalled recently.... I don't know, we're not going to do an autopsy, that's too expensive. My mom told me that an autopsy wont bring him back, so what's the point? which is true...

I stopped crying so much. I just need to be around people... Because when I'm alone, I just keep thinking about him. I miss him so much. I've had him ever since he was a puppy. It's like we lost a family member.

haha i want to make a whiskey stuffed animal. in memory of him. so i can hug it. lol but iono if it'd make me cry... lol i'm better than how i was this morning, I'm trying to be happy.